In December, I stepped up my exercise to a new level. I was back in the gym three days a week, often more. I was doing the C25K program, working up to running 3.12 miles without stopping. I was walking on the beach on the days I wasn't in the gym, strength training and doing yoga. I was a powerhouse.
And I was miserable. I felt weak and tired. At first I chalked it up to general muscle fatigue and figured my body would catch up. A month went by and nothing. I ate more, within my dietary restrictions, adding more protein to my diet. To my dismay, I didn't feel better. Instead, I was worse. My fatigue and weakness were now coupled with headaches and dizziness. I went to the doctor, but all my tests came back normal. Nothing to worry about.
We talked about my diet and while my doctors (I saw my PCP and some specialists) all were concerned about the lack of carbs, but none of them wanted to tell me to stop what I was doing, because it was obviously working. "Talk to your hypnotist and see what she has to say."
Remember, my hypnotist has a background in nutrition, so this wasn't just any entertainment-style hypnotist. She knows her stuff.
So, a few phone calls later, back and forth with the hypnotist and the doctors, and I am officially off my low-carb diet. The diet I was on from the hypnotist was one that causes stress to the body, any weight loss plan does, actually. So when I coupled the weight loss stress from the diet with the above and beyond exercise stress, my body couldn't take it. My hypnotist wasn't surprised that I was having issues.
It has been almost two weeks since I have been off my strict low-carb diet, and I am struggling. This freedom, this not having to worry about "breaking the hypnosis" has made my attitude more casual. I've noticed that my inclinations to over-indulge aren't the same, I can stop after a few bites now. But, I'm still going for those few bites.
So, I have made arrangements to go back to my gym with the personal training for three months while I train for my 5Ks and 60-mile walk. I will go back to the clean eating diet that I was on before I went low-carb, and I will bust my butt at the gym.
Then, once my walk is over, I have run a few more 5K races and am, hopefully, at a place where I can be more in maintenance mode rather than training mode, I can take my exercise intensity down a few notched for the fall and winter, and go back to hypnosis until I am securely at my goal.
The next three months won't be easy ...
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Friday, March 30, 2012
The "look"
When I went for my tune-up in the fall, after stepping off the program for a few weeks, I felt like a little kid who did something she wasn't supposed to do. In my group session, several of us were in the same boat. We had gone astray. Every time, our hypnotist gave us the "look." You know the one, moms are fantastic at giving the "look." Many teachers have mastered the "look." It's that facial expression that says, I'm disappointed in you, you know better, don't make me have to tell you YET again ... don't do it.
I swallowed my pride, accepted my slap on the hand, and vowed to not make the same mistakes again. And I was almost successful. I had one 20-minute moment of weakness in mid-December. Holiday gifts from families at my school got the better of me and I indulged. But, I immediately threw away all the other temptations and got myself back on track, without a tune-up. I stuck with the program and made it through the holidays and into the spring.
I swallowed my pride, accepted my slap on the hand, and vowed to not make the same mistakes again. And I was almost successful. I had one 20-minute moment of weakness in mid-December. Holiday gifts from families at my school got the better of me and I indulged. But, I immediately threw away all the other temptations and got myself back on track, without a tune-up. I stuck with the program and made it through the holidays and into the spring.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Loving and hating change
When I first embarked on my journey towards a healthier life one year ago, almost exactly to the day, I relished the changes that I needed to make in my life, but I also resented them. I had grown accustomed to living a certain lifestyle that was simple, but it was that simple lifestyle that kept me unhealthy, unhappy and on the outside of the world.
At first, my changes were small. I started counting calories, measuring my food. Then, I switched to a clean diet, eating mostly fresh fruits and vegetables, lean proteins and whole grains. I added in protein shakes to go along with a new exercise routine, 30 minutes of strength training and 30 minutes of cardio done three days a week. But I struggled. The weight came off so slowly that I was discouraged and disheartened. At the rate I was going, it would be YEARS before I reached my goal weight. I knew that I could not afford the costs of my personalized gym experience for years; I could barely afford the six-month plan. Needless to say, my credit card was thrilled with my large investment in my health.
Looking at my future, I was scared and frustrated, unsure if I could be successful. In the middle of my doubts in my own abilities, I was also struggling with health issues that were inhibiting my success with exercise. Years of being obese had taken a toll on my knees, not to mention the stress my knees had been under from 20 years of competitive horseback riding and a car accident - I still have scar tissues in my knees from that accident more than six years ago. I was unable to do 75% of the workout offered by my gym, per my doctor's orders. If I couldn't do 75% of the workout, how on earth was I going to get in shape?
That's when I opted for the hypnosis, to change my lifestyle. Starting in June 2011 my eating habits were completely changed, and I went on a low-carb diet, eating mostly fresh meat and vegetables. My exercise habits declined, I will admit that, but I stayed 100% true to my diet and the lifestyle changes my hypnotist required in order for her program to work. I never ate anything that I didn't eat with meat. I always ate more meat than anything else in my meals. I ate certain foods regularly, even though I didn't like them. I didn't weigh myself.
Fast forward to October 2011. I was caught off-guard in a situation where I was lunch-less on a field trip with 30 third graders. My options were raid the vending machine or steal a child's sandwich and eat the meat. I won't lie, I contemplated stealing a sandwich. Instead, I headed to the vending machine and opted for a carb-snack, pretzels. No sugar, I wouldn't allow myself sugar, that's the worst thing I could do while on the hypnosis plan. I felt defeated, but I had no choice. I needed to fuel my body with something before continuing to run after children for the next three hours.
Knowing that I had broken my hypnosis, I made an appointment for a tune-up at the end of the month. Going through the rest of that month was hard, I felt like I couldn't do this on my own, and I found myself straying regularly. First it was a flavored latte, not too bad, but it was sugar. No sugar. Then it was a latte and a scone and a muffin. I'll have pizza today. Beer at the reception. Oh, cookies, haven't had those in a while. A little pasta won't hurt. Why not have some ice cream. Two weeks went by, and my old eating habits had returned. And, I stepped on the scale.
I was happy to see that I was down 56 pounds from my highest weight, but I wasn't as happy as I thought I should have been - I wanted more of a loss. I knew it was my own fault for giving in to temptation.
As much as I wanted change, I also wanted the change to end. I wanted to eat the carbs, enjoy the sugar and not worry about eating meat with everything. But I also knew that doing so would mean a lifetime of being obese. Overindulging regularly was a thing of the past. These changes, love them or hate them, had to be a regular part of my life.
At first, my changes were small. I started counting calories, measuring my food. Then, I switched to a clean diet, eating mostly fresh fruits and vegetables, lean proteins and whole grains. I added in protein shakes to go along with a new exercise routine, 30 minutes of strength training and 30 minutes of cardio done three days a week. But I struggled. The weight came off so slowly that I was discouraged and disheartened. At the rate I was going, it would be YEARS before I reached my goal weight. I knew that I could not afford the costs of my personalized gym experience for years; I could barely afford the six-month plan. Needless to say, my credit card was thrilled with my large investment in my health.
Looking at my future, I was scared and frustrated, unsure if I could be successful. In the middle of my doubts in my own abilities, I was also struggling with health issues that were inhibiting my success with exercise. Years of being obese had taken a toll on my knees, not to mention the stress my knees had been under from 20 years of competitive horseback riding and a car accident - I still have scar tissues in my knees from that accident more than six years ago. I was unable to do 75% of the workout offered by my gym, per my doctor's orders. If I couldn't do 75% of the workout, how on earth was I going to get in shape?
That's when I opted for the hypnosis, to change my lifestyle. Starting in June 2011 my eating habits were completely changed, and I went on a low-carb diet, eating mostly fresh meat and vegetables. My exercise habits declined, I will admit that, but I stayed 100% true to my diet and the lifestyle changes my hypnotist required in order for her program to work. I never ate anything that I didn't eat with meat. I always ate more meat than anything else in my meals. I ate certain foods regularly, even though I didn't like them. I didn't weigh myself.
Fast forward to October 2011. I was caught off-guard in a situation where I was lunch-less on a field trip with 30 third graders. My options were raid the vending machine or steal a child's sandwich and eat the meat. I won't lie, I contemplated stealing a sandwich. Instead, I headed to the vending machine and opted for a carb-snack, pretzels. No sugar, I wouldn't allow myself sugar, that's the worst thing I could do while on the hypnosis plan. I felt defeated, but I had no choice. I needed to fuel my body with something before continuing to run after children for the next three hours.
Knowing that I had broken my hypnosis, I made an appointment for a tune-up at the end of the month. Going through the rest of that month was hard, I felt like I couldn't do this on my own, and I found myself straying regularly. First it was a flavored latte, not too bad, but it was sugar. No sugar. Then it was a latte and a scone and a muffin. I'll have pizza today. Beer at the reception. Oh, cookies, haven't had those in a while. A little pasta won't hurt. Why not have some ice cream. Two weeks went by, and my old eating habits had returned. And, I stepped on the scale.
I was happy to see that I was down 56 pounds from my highest weight, but I wasn't as happy as I thought I should have been - I wanted more of a loss. I knew it was my own fault for giving in to temptation.
As much as I wanted change, I also wanted the change to end. I wanted to eat the carbs, enjoy the sugar and not worry about eating meat with everything. But I also knew that doing so would mean a lifetime of being obese. Overindulging regularly was a thing of the past. These changes, love them or hate them, had to be a regular part of my life.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
The first steps
It's always difficult to take on a new challenge in life. Change is hard, plain and simple. Adopting new roles and routines isn't easy. Trudging forward through the mud and the muck on the way to the finish line isn't pretty and sometimes, it is downright painful and ugly. But we do it in order to seek accomplishment.
When I crossed the finish line of my first 5K, I felt a wave of accomplishment - and a wave of exhaustion. Knowing that I pushed myself to stay strong through those last final steps and only slow once I knew my feet were well beyond the line was something to be proud of for sure. I finished my race in 47:02, crushing my anticipated 55 minute goal. It doesn't matter that I was among the final finishers of the race (I wasn't last though), what matters is that I finished and I did my best. I pushed myself beyond my limits and accomplished more than I thought I could.
Another challenge I have taken on is the Susan G. Komen 3-Day 60 mile walk. It's an incredible thing to know that you can walk 60 miles in three days. Not just anyone can do that. The biggest challenge for me though is fundraising. In order to complete the walk, I must raise $2,300.
Talking to folks about this event has been frustrating. The lack of excitement and encouragement has been astonishing. There are some words of praise for making the commitment, but more often than not I hear negatives, about the walk, about the fundraising and even about the SGK foundation.
There's a part of me that is ready to give up, accept that I may never be able to raise $2,300 by the end of July. The truth is, I may not be able to raise the $2,300 I need in order to walk in the 3-Day. I will try, I will work hard and ask for donations, keep my donor page open until the last minute possible.
But what if I don't make it? I'm still going to walk. Even if I can't walk with the SGK 3-Day group, I'll still walk 60 miles in three days, on my own. While one of my goals is to support a good cause, my primary goal is to accomplish an amazing physical feat, something that a year ago I could have never dreamed of doing.
When I crossed the finish line of my first 5K, I felt a wave of accomplishment - and a wave of exhaustion. Knowing that I pushed myself to stay strong through those last final steps and only slow once I knew my feet were well beyond the line was something to be proud of for sure. I finished my race in 47:02, crushing my anticipated 55 minute goal. It doesn't matter that I was among the final finishers of the race (I wasn't last though), what matters is that I finished and I did my best. I pushed myself beyond my limits and accomplished more than I thought I could.
Another challenge I have taken on is the Susan G. Komen 3-Day 60 mile walk. It's an incredible thing to know that you can walk 60 miles in three days. Not just anyone can do that. The biggest challenge for me though is fundraising. In order to complete the walk, I must raise $2,300.
Talking to folks about this event has been frustrating. The lack of excitement and encouragement has been astonishing. There are some words of praise for making the commitment, but more often than not I hear negatives, about the walk, about the fundraising and even about the SGK foundation.
Why would you want to walk 60 miles?
I would never put myself through that.
That's so far.
That doesn't sound fun.
I could never raise $2,300.
What if you don't raise the money?
I'm so over the Susan Komen foundation.
I'm tired just thinking about it.
Isn't there something else you could do?
There's a part of me that is ready to give up, accept that I may never be able to raise $2,300 by the end of July. The truth is, I may not be able to raise the $2,300 I need in order to walk in the 3-Day. I will try, I will work hard and ask for donations, keep my donor page open until the last minute possible.
But what if I don't make it? I'm still going to walk. Even if I can't walk with the SGK 3-Day group, I'll still walk 60 miles in three days, on my own. While one of my goals is to support a good cause, my primary goal is to accomplish an amazing physical feat, something that a year ago I could have never dreamed of doing.
Monday, March 26, 2012
My first 5K - FINISHED!
You may remember that last week I posted saying I was going to compete in my first 5K on St. Patrick's Day. I'm happy to announce that I not only survived the race, I also beat my anticipated time of 55 minutes to finish. I finished in 47:02, and ... I was not the last one to cross the finish line. I wasn't even the last one in my age group to finish! There were only a few people who finished after me, but I'm so proud of my successful endeavor. I think I'm hooked! My next goal is to finish under 45 minutes ... and not come in last place. Some day, I'll be able to run the entire distance non-stop and have a competitive time stamp. Until then, I'm thrilled with simply being able to finish the race and not come in last place!
Sunday, March 18, 2012
You're getting a waist!
One of the exciting parts of losing a large amount of weight is seeing the physical transformation. One of my best friends comments to me often about the changes she has seen. "You're getting a shape," she'll say. To which my mind immediately replies, Other than round, you mean ... Her favorite comment is, "I'm sorry that your clothes are too big," when she sees me in my baggy pants and tent-like top that used to be fitted. It's a great feeling to pick up a pair of pants that six months ago I couldn't get past my thighs and discover that they fit, or better yet, are loose. Sweatshirts that used to squeeze my chest and not go past my waist now drape over my body in an extremely unattractive way, but I love it. Proof that I've made a change.
The other night, I was helping my sister work on a project. Her desk is situated near the foot of her bed so I tend to sit there while she sits at the desk. In a moment of exasperation, I flung myself backward, arms over my head. My sweatshirt (that was once too small to even pull on) lifted revealing a few inches of skin on my stomach. "You're getting a waist," my sister said in amazement.
I've always had a waist, obviously, but it was hidden. Well, it's starting to make an appearance, and I'm thrilled. Here's to having a waist!
The other night, I was helping my sister work on a project. Her desk is situated near the foot of her bed so I tend to sit there while she sits at the desk. In a moment of exasperation, I flung myself backward, arms over my head. My sweatshirt (that was once too small to even pull on) lifted revealing a few inches of skin on my stomach. "You're getting a waist," my sister said in amazement.
I've always had a waist, obviously, but it was hidden. Well, it's starting to make an appearance, and I'm thrilled. Here's to having a waist!
Saturday, March 17, 2012
The magic of a haircut
I began my lifestyle overhaul (diet and exercise) in March of 2011. I began with eating clean and working out three days a week doing 30 minutes of strength training and 30 minutes of cardio each day. I underwent hypnosis in June 2011, changing my diet to essentially a low-carb diet (more complex than that, but easiest way to describe it). I was working hard to change my lifestyle and live a healthier life, and it was working. By July 2011, I was down about 25 pounds.
That summer, I decided to cut off my hair and donate it to Locks of Love. My hair is rather thick, so the stylist actually divided my hair into four small chunks, each one about 13 inches long. This still left me with hair that fell almost to my chin. Once my hair was styled into a new look, it was even shorter. This wasn't the first time I had my hair this short, so I was used to it.
Since July, I have received so many compliments on my hair. Comments I hear often include, "it really brings out your eyes," and "I never really noticed the shape of your face before," or just a simple, "I cannot get over how much a haircut has changed your appearance."
Well, ladies and gentleman, I appreciate the compliments, but it's not just the work of a haircut. It's the magic of losing somewhere around 100 pounds. Yes, 100 pounds.
I don't actually weigh myself, it's part of my hypnosis program - no scales. While I don't know my exact weight, I have my sister track my weight to make sure I'm moving in the right direction. I get a thumbs up if I'm doing well. Unless she's lying to me, we've never had a need for anything other than a thumbs up, so I'm not sure what she'd do if I wasn't making progress. Based on the weight loss I experienced at the beginning of my journey when I didn't listen to my hypnotist and stepped on a scale, I estimate my weight loss to be somewhere between 90 and 110 pounds, so I'll settle for the nice round number of 100.
Regardless, I've gone from a size 26/28 to a loose size 18. I can even wear XL clothes from the regular section of the store, depending on the style. Not all XL sizes fit, but some do and that's exciting. To drop that many sizes means a significant weight loss, and that's why my face looks dramatically different.
So, my response to the compliments of the haircut are as follows:
"It really brings out your eyes." - This is because my face is thinner and my eyes are no longer hidden by fat cheeks, especially when I smile.
"I never really noticed the shape of your face before." - That's because the shape was round and pudgy. I finally have a chin and cheekbones again!
"I cannot get over how much a haircut has changed your appearance." - It hasn't. My haircut isn't magical. My appearance has changed because I have changed. There is much less of me now than there was a year ago.
That summer, I decided to cut off my hair and donate it to Locks of Love. My hair is rather thick, so the stylist actually divided my hair into four small chunks, each one about 13 inches long. This still left me with hair that fell almost to my chin. Once my hair was styled into a new look, it was even shorter. This wasn't the first time I had my hair this short, so I was used to it.
Since July, I have received so many compliments on my hair. Comments I hear often include, "it really brings out your eyes," and "I never really noticed the shape of your face before," or just a simple, "I cannot get over how much a haircut has changed your appearance."
Well, ladies and gentleman, I appreciate the compliments, but it's not just the work of a haircut. It's the magic of losing somewhere around 100 pounds. Yes, 100 pounds.
I don't actually weigh myself, it's part of my hypnosis program - no scales. While I don't know my exact weight, I have my sister track my weight to make sure I'm moving in the right direction. I get a thumbs up if I'm doing well. Unless she's lying to me, we've never had a need for anything other than a thumbs up, so I'm not sure what she'd do if I wasn't making progress. Based on the weight loss I experienced at the beginning of my journey when I didn't listen to my hypnotist and stepped on a scale, I estimate my weight loss to be somewhere between 90 and 110 pounds, so I'll settle for the nice round number of 100.
Regardless, I've gone from a size 26/28 to a loose size 18. I can even wear XL clothes from the regular section of the store, depending on the style. Not all XL sizes fit, but some do and that's exciting. To drop that many sizes means a significant weight loss, and that's why my face looks dramatically different.
So, my response to the compliments of the haircut are as follows:
"It really brings out your eyes." - This is because my face is thinner and my eyes are no longer hidden by fat cheeks, especially when I smile.
"I never really noticed the shape of your face before." - That's because the shape was round and pudgy. I finally have a chin and cheekbones again!
"I cannot get over how much a haircut has changed your appearance." - It hasn't. My haircut isn't magical. My appearance has changed because I have changed. There is much less of me now than there was a year ago.
Friday, March 16, 2012
What do I actually need?
The last month, I haven't been feeling the greatest. I've been having frequent headaches, general feelings of fatigue and weakness in my muscles. Not aches, just weak, like I cannot push myself as hard as I was earlier this winter. At first I thought it was a bug or just a phase, but more than a month of this has had me worried.
A similar feeling of fatigue and weakness came over me in the early summer when I was about two months into my program. I happened to be scheduled for a tune-up, and asked my hypnotist, who actually has a strong background in nutrition. She said my symptoms were necessarily unusual on a diet like this, but to give her a few minutes to think about my situation. About 10 minutes later her eyes connected with mine in the group session and she said she had a solution. We aren't supposed to eat sweet fruits, but she said that every time she came by my mind (remember, she's a mentalist who connects with our subconscious) she smelled bananas. She suggested that I eat half a banana and some form of animal protein about 30-60 minutes before a heavy workout and that should help. It made total sense to me, because before I started her program, I was on a clean eating program and often ate a half a banana before exercising, usually with peanut butter instead of animal protein, but close enough. Making this small adjustment in my diet actually helped for quite a while.
But now, my issues have come back and are even worse. Rather than traveling the nearly 100 miles to my hypnotist, I decided to start with my doctor. Unfortunately, this trip to my doctor was less than helpful. The older gentleman who saw me, not my regular doctor, couldn't access my records because he doesn't use computers and couldn't tell the difference between writing on paper and attempting to writing on the plastic sleeve which contained said paper. He may be brilliant in terms of medicine, but I was concerned. He did, however, run a complete blood work up on me, which came back normal according to his note and the office. Except there was one thyroid test that was flagged as being low. Perhaps it wasn't drastically low, but still, shouldn't we explore further?
Needless to say, I'm looking elsewhere for guidance in terms of my health. Several people have commented that perhaps my diet of meat and vegetables isn't cutting it now that I have significantly upped my levels of exercise. Perhaps, but I'm not ready to give up on this plan that has helped me lose somewhere around 100 pounds in less than a year just yet. I need advice from seasoned professionals who can guide me, help me come up with a plan that won't derail my success thus far.
Do I really need to eat more sugars and carbs? I get sugars from non-sweet fruits like lemons, limes, tomatoes and veggies like corn and butternut squash. I even still eat my banana and protein before working out. I get carbs from the veggies, as well as other nutrients. It's amazing to learn just how many nutrients we can receive simply from veggies. I consume fresh meats ranging from beef and pork to chicken and turkey, and sometimes fish. I'm not eating an unhealthy diet by any means, and I'm not limiting my foods. I don't weigh them, count calories or fat grams, I just eat when I'm hungry and eat until I'm satisfied, but don't go overboard. I even eat a specific type of yogurt for additional protein, and drink lots of milk every day. I even have an unsweetened non-fat latte once in a while. I try to have corn or squash every day, as well as the juice from a whole lemon or lime in my water.
Since no one in my doctor's office has been able to guide me in my dietary needs, I'm in search of a nutritionist to see how I can alter my current diet to feed my body what it needs. And, I'm planning to return to the hypnotist in a couple weeks for her advice. We shall see what happens.
A similar feeling of fatigue and weakness came over me in the early summer when I was about two months into my program. I happened to be scheduled for a tune-up, and asked my hypnotist, who actually has a strong background in nutrition. She said my symptoms were necessarily unusual on a diet like this, but to give her a few minutes to think about my situation. About 10 minutes later her eyes connected with mine in the group session and she said she had a solution. We aren't supposed to eat sweet fruits, but she said that every time she came by my mind (remember, she's a mentalist who connects with our subconscious) she smelled bananas. She suggested that I eat half a banana and some form of animal protein about 30-60 minutes before a heavy workout and that should help. It made total sense to me, because before I started her program, I was on a clean eating program and often ate a half a banana before exercising, usually with peanut butter instead of animal protein, but close enough. Making this small adjustment in my diet actually helped for quite a while.
But now, my issues have come back and are even worse. Rather than traveling the nearly 100 miles to my hypnotist, I decided to start with my doctor. Unfortunately, this trip to my doctor was less than helpful. The older gentleman who saw me, not my regular doctor, couldn't access my records because he doesn't use computers and couldn't tell the difference between writing on paper and attempting to writing on the plastic sleeve which contained said paper. He may be brilliant in terms of medicine, but I was concerned. He did, however, run a complete blood work up on me, which came back normal according to his note and the office. Except there was one thyroid test that was flagged as being low. Perhaps it wasn't drastically low, but still, shouldn't we explore further?
Needless to say, I'm looking elsewhere for guidance in terms of my health. Several people have commented that perhaps my diet of meat and vegetables isn't cutting it now that I have significantly upped my levels of exercise. Perhaps, but I'm not ready to give up on this plan that has helped me lose somewhere around 100 pounds in less than a year just yet. I need advice from seasoned professionals who can guide me, help me come up with a plan that won't derail my success thus far.
Do I really need to eat more sugars and carbs? I get sugars from non-sweet fruits like lemons, limes, tomatoes and veggies like corn and butternut squash. I even still eat my banana and protein before working out. I get carbs from the veggies, as well as other nutrients. It's amazing to learn just how many nutrients we can receive simply from veggies. I consume fresh meats ranging from beef and pork to chicken and turkey, and sometimes fish. I'm not eating an unhealthy diet by any means, and I'm not limiting my foods. I don't weigh them, count calories or fat grams, I just eat when I'm hungry and eat until I'm satisfied, but don't go overboard. I even eat a specific type of yogurt for additional protein, and drink lots of milk every day. I even have an unsweetened non-fat latte once in a while. I try to have corn or squash every day, as well as the juice from a whole lemon or lime in my water.
Since no one in my doctor's office has been able to guide me in my dietary needs, I'm in search of a nutritionist to see how I can alter my current diet to feed my body what it needs. And, I'm planning to return to the hypnotist in a couple weeks for her advice. We shall see what happens.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Tune Ups and Staying on Track
This past winter, I succumbed to temptation and stepped off my hypnosis diet program. I ate carbs and sugar, sometimes together - the worst combination possible according to my hypnotist. When I went back for my tune-up, I knew she was not happy with my slip-up. Yes, we are human, but when your slip-up happens for a month, that's pushing it. I pushed it.
Since my last tune-up in November, I have stayed 97% on track with the program. I have deducted 2% for a 20-minute slip-up in December when I indulged in some holiday chocolate given to me as a gift. Realizing that I didn't get the same joy and euphoria that I used to from the chocolate, I had even greater resolve to return to my program and stick with it. And I did. The final 1% comes from the "unknowns" and the compromises I have had to make. For example, out at dinner, I ask for seltzer water with lime but I'm not sure that's what I was given. It's amazing how many people don't acknowledge the difference between seltzer water, tonic water and club soda. Or, I'm at a work event and the dinner is breaded fish. So, I scrape off the breading, but I'm sure I've missed some of it. Not 100% perfect, but still on the right track.
One thing we were told in our hypnosis sessions is that if you step off the program while on vacation, it's less detrimental than stepping off in every day life. Well, I have a vacation coming up to visit my college roommate. I know there will be ample opportunities for me to step off, indulge in a few forbidden foods and drinks. But can I do it?
Since my last tune-up in November, I have stayed 97% on track with the program. I have deducted 2% for a 20-minute slip-up in December when I indulged in some holiday chocolate given to me as a gift. Realizing that I didn't get the same joy and euphoria that I used to from the chocolate, I had even greater resolve to return to my program and stick with it. And I did. The final 1% comes from the "unknowns" and the compromises I have had to make. For example, out at dinner, I ask for seltzer water with lime but I'm not sure that's what I was given. It's amazing how many people don't acknowledge the difference between seltzer water, tonic water and club soda. Or, I'm at a work event and the dinner is breaded fish. So, I scrape off the breading, but I'm sure I've missed some of it. Not 100% perfect, but still on the right track.
One thing we were told in our hypnosis sessions is that if you step off the program while on vacation, it's less detrimental than stepping off in every day life. Well, I have a vacation coming up to visit my college roommate. I know there will be ample opportunities for me to step off, indulge in a few forbidden foods and drinks. But can I do it?
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
My first 5K
Since I made the decision to change my life a year ago, a lot has happened. I eat healthy, exercise regularly and challenge myself in ways I never imagined.
This winter, I made the commitment to complete the Susan G. Komen 3-Day 60 mile walk, and have been slowly increasing the miles I can tackle at one time. A year ago, completing one single mile was a challenge. Today, I'm walk-jogging 4 miles and more. I'm still a ways from being able to walk 60 miles in three days, but I have 20 more weeks to train. I can do this.
A mini-milestone in my journey will hopefully come this weekend when I complete my first 5K. Note, I said complete my first 5K, not RUN my first 5K. I'm completely realistic in my goal, aiming to finish the race in under 60 minutes. I know that many people aim for times closer to 30 minutes for a 5K, but I'm not there. Regardless of how long it takes me, I am committed to finishing the race.
Wish me luck!
This winter, I made the commitment to complete the Susan G. Komen 3-Day 60 mile walk, and have been slowly increasing the miles I can tackle at one time. A year ago, completing one single mile was a challenge. Today, I'm walk-jogging 4 miles and more. I'm still a ways from being able to walk 60 miles in three days, but I have 20 more weeks to train. I can do this.
A mini-milestone in my journey will hopefully come this weekend when I complete my first 5K. Note, I said complete my first 5K, not RUN my first 5K. I'm completely realistic in my goal, aiming to finish the race in under 60 minutes. I know that many people aim for times closer to 30 minutes for a 5K, but I'm not there. Regardless of how long it takes me, I am committed to finishing the race.
Wish me luck!
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Hypnosis
People always ask me about my hypnosis. What was it like? Were you awake? How do you know you don't have weird suggestions like cluck like a chicken whenever you hear the word WATER?
One thing I'll say, is that for programs like this one to work, it's important for the participant to not know everything they will experience. Your mind needs to interpret the information itself and make its own connections to what you're learning.
But, there are a few things I will share about my experience and tips for embarking on a journey like mine.
Find a reputable hypnotist.
I'm happy to share the name of mine if you email me. Ask for recommendations, research them, find out their background in terms of nutrition, weight loss, fitness and health in general. Find people who have seen him or her, see what their experience was like first. I talked to several people who had seen my hypnotist, and she had RAVE reviews. Even nurses and doctors sing her praises and she is well-known in the local medical community.
Have an open mind.
When I went for help, I was desperate. At 30 years old, 5'2 and 320 pounds, I didn't have much of a choice in the matter. I needed a big change, and I needed it now. I was willing to try anything to help me make the change I needed so badly. If someone told me that little gnomes would come into my room at night to take away the fat from my body, I'd be open to it - creeped out, but open. So, I was open to a discussion about tapping into the subconscious and letting someone into my mind. The woman who I went to see is not just a hypnotist, she's also a mentalist who communicates with our subconscious. Some of what she says seemed far-fetched to me, but whatever she does, however she does it, it worked. I'm a believer.
The experience of hypnosis.
Now, my experience may differ drastically from yours, particularly if you see a different hypnotist. But here are a few tid-bits from what I experienced. There was no couch for me to lay on, no watch swung in front of my face, no moments of being unaware of my surroundings. Forget all the stereotypical hypnotist descriptions on this one.
First off, meetings were group sessions, 20-25 of us in a room at once. We sat in a semi-circle around the hypnotist and she began educating us on nutrition and how our bodies process the foods we put in them. We learned about proteins, fats, sugars, carbs. We were asked for our free-will to make this program work.
You never really knew exactly when the hypnosis started, and you stayed fairly alert through the entire three-hour session. At times, I felt a bit groggy, but I intently listened to her and watched her - body language was a huge part of the subconscious cues we received. When I was under, I could see a bright aura around her, just her, no one else in the room. Apparently, I wasn't the only one who saw it either. It wasn't a huge light, just a small outline around her.
When the session ended, I remembered most of what she said, but let's be honest, you aren't going to remember everything you hear during a three-hour lecture period. She said that the cues she gives our subconscious would help us through the week leading up to the next session in the three-part series.
Be committed to the plan.
This was not a magic solution. We had to make the choice to abide by the rules she set and stick with it. We were told a specific way to eat and a few things to NOT do. For example, we are told to not weigh ourselves. If we must step on a scale, we must ask that we are not told the weight. After the first session, we were on our own for a week to implement the knowledge we received and alter our eating habits. The second session was a check-in and reinforcements of the first week, continuing on our journey and learning a bit more. Same for the third session. Free will remained a huge component to being successful on this plan.
Stay committed even after the sessions end.
Once we finished the three-week session, we were set to continue on our own until we reach our goals. For folks like me looking at a year or two to make that goal, being on my own with this plan seemed daunting. So, I took advantage of her tune-ups, follow-up sessions that serve as a refresher and to either keep us moving forward to get us back on track if we strayed. We were warned though, that free will still played a role and constantly coming in for tune-ups because we don't stick to the plan wouldn't work. Since July 2011, I have had two tune-ups, one in August and one in November. I've been doing rather well on my own, but plan on going back again in the next few months before the summer just to make sure I'm on the right track and prepared to turn my back on ice-cream season.
Advocate for yourself and involve a doctor.
It's important to be upfront with your doctor about what you're doing, and be upfront with your hypnotist about health issues what may affect your ability to be on a strict diet plan. You are your own advocate and you need to listen to your body. Remember that we are not medical professionals (unless you actually are) and should not diagnose ourselves. Use your doctor, hypnotist and any specialists you may need to consult (nutrition and fitness experts, therapists, cardiologists, etc.) as a team dedicated to improving your health and making you the best person possible.
One thing I'll say, is that for programs like this one to work, it's important for the participant to not know everything they will experience. Your mind needs to interpret the information itself and make its own connections to what you're learning.
But, there are a few things I will share about my experience and tips for embarking on a journey like mine.
Find a reputable hypnotist.
I'm happy to share the name of mine if you email me. Ask for recommendations, research them, find out their background in terms of nutrition, weight loss, fitness and health in general. Find people who have seen him or her, see what their experience was like first. I talked to several people who had seen my hypnotist, and she had RAVE reviews. Even nurses and doctors sing her praises and she is well-known in the local medical community.
Have an open mind.
When I went for help, I was desperate. At 30 years old, 5'2 and 320 pounds, I didn't have much of a choice in the matter. I needed a big change, and I needed it now. I was willing to try anything to help me make the change I needed so badly. If someone told me that little gnomes would come into my room at night to take away the fat from my body, I'd be open to it - creeped out, but open. So, I was open to a discussion about tapping into the subconscious and letting someone into my mind. The woman who I went to see is not just a hypnotist, she's also a mentalist who communicates with our subconscious. Some of what she says seemed far-fetched to me, but whatever she does, however she does it, it worked. I'm a believer.
The experience of hypnosis.
Now, my experience may differ drastically from yours, particularly if you see a different hypnotist. But here are a few tid-bits from what I experienced. There was no couch for me to lay on, no watch swung in front of my face, no moments of being unaware of my surroundings. Forget all the stereotypical hypnotist descriptions on this one.
First off, meetings were group sessions, 20-25 of us in a room at once. We sat in a semi-circle around the hypnotist and she began educating us on nutrition and how our bodies process the foods we put in them. We learned about proteins, fats, sugars, carbs. We were asked for our free-will to make this program work.
You never really knew exactly when the hypnosis started, and you stayed fairly alert through the entire three-hour session. At times, I felt a bit groggy, but I intently listened to her and watched her - body language was a huge part of the subconscious cues we received. When I was under, I could see a bright aura around her, just her, no one else in the room. Apparently, I wasn't the only one who saw it either. It wasn't a huge light, just a small outline around her.
When the session ended, I remembered most of what she said, but let's be honest, you aren't going to remember everything you hear during a three-hour lecture period. She said that the cues she gives our subconscious would help us through the week leading up to the next session in the three-part series.
Be committed to the plan.
This was not a magic solution. We had to make the choice to abide by the rules she set and stick with it. We were told a specific way to eat and a few things to NOT do. For example, we are told to not weigh ourselves. If we must step on a scale, we must ask that we are not told the weight. After the first session, we were on our own for a week to implement the knowledge we received and alter our eating habits. The second session was a check-in and reinforcements of the first week, continuing on our journey and learning a bit more. Same for the third session. Free will remained a huge component to being successful on this plan.
Stay committed even after the sessions end.
Once we finished the three-week session, we were set to continue on our own until we reach our goals. For folks like me looking at a year or two to make that goal, being on my own with this plan seemed daunting. So, I took advantage of her tune-ups, follow-up sessions that serve as a refresher and to either keep us moving forward to get us back on track if we strayed. We were warned though, that free will still played a role and constantly coming in for tune-ups because we don't stick to the plan wouldn't work. Since July 2011, I have had two tune-ups, one in August and one in November. I've been doing rather well on my own, but plan on going back again in the next few months before the summer just to make sure I'm on the right track and prepared to turn my back on ice-cream season.
Advocate for yourself and involve a doctor.
It's important to be upfront with your doctor about what you're doing, and be upfront with your hypnotist about health issues what may affect your ability to be on a strict diet plan. You are your own advocate and you need to listen to your body. Remember that we are not medical professionals (unless you actually are) and should not diagnose ourselves. Use your doctor, hypnotist and any specialists you may need to consult (nutrition and fitness experts, therapists, cardiologists, etc.) as a team dedicated to improving your health and making you the best person possible.
Monday, March 12, 2012
A medical need
Growing up, it was only natural that I was curious about my biological background. Who do I look like? Where do I come from? My focus was always superficial. But when I hit my mid-twenties, I found myself facing some health issues. Then, my focus became medical. What health issues could be genetic? What should I be on the lookout for? No, biology isn't always a definite indicator of medical needs, but it can certainly help in preventative medicine and in diagnosing problems.
The information that I had was minimal at best. So, I set out in search of answers in an attempt to build a stronger knowledge base for my health when I was about 25 years old. I was already dealing with asthma and allergies, and around the age of 26, discovered that I suffered from high blood pressure and sleep apnea. I was also obese and struggling with mild depression.
My weight had been at the forefront of my mind for many years. As a child, I was chubby but in the cute way. As a teenager, it was no longer cute. Despite my playing soccer for three years in high school (not well, I won't deny it), and riding horses competitively, I always seemed to be about 20-30 pounds heavier than I should. College came and I stopped playing soccer; my skills were not even close to being on par for a college level team. I continued to ride, but it wasn't enough. Soon I was 40-50 pounds overweight. After my junior year of college, I cut my riding time in half, and joined the student newspaper. I spent more time at a computer than I did outside getting exercise. Our office was located in the campus center, right upstairs from the Cafe. Chef Jeff's famous cookies became a staple in my diet, as did chicken fingers and french fries. By the time I graduated, I wasn't riding at all. By the age of 21, I was closer to being 70 pounds overweight.
College ended and real life began. Commuting to work and a new desk job were exciting and I put all my time and energy into my position. A new position presented itself before my current one ended, so I balanced two jobs for a month. Working long hours, adjusting to a new situation, it was high stress and I opted for fast food over fresh food and rarely exercised.
The understatement of the year was that I didn't take care of myself. I'd go through a week or two here or there of eating right and exercising, but then I'd fall back to my old ways and settle for convenience options. Lazing on the couch was easier than running a mile, so I put my efforts into creating a permanent dent in my cushions instead of improving my health.
At the age of 25, I was about 130 pounds overweight, and I found myself needing emergency surgery. My poor diet and lack of exercise had caught up with me, among other things. A simple ultrasound in the morning turned into surgery within hours. My gallbladder was infected and my organs were on the verge of shutting down. I could have died, within a matter of days. That gave me a good shake, and I spent the next few months eating better and losing about 30 pounds.
Fast forward two years. I gained back those 30 pounds, plus another 10 or 20. One night, I walked out of my office and collapsed to the floor. I quickly picked myself up and looked around to see if anyone noticed. I had no idea why I fell. I didn't trip, I didn't remember being dizzy or woozy. I just fell. Chalk it up to being oblivious, I thought. Until I mentioned it to the school nurse, who promptly took my blood pressure. Through the roof.
The doctor cited that obviously my weight was a factor in my HBP. At this point in my life, I was nearly 150 pounds overweight, and extremely unhealthy. Regardless of this glaring factor in my illness, my doctor wanted to know more about my medical history, as did I.
The information that I had was minimal at best. So, I set out in search of answers in an attempt to build a stronger knowledge base for my health when I was about 25 years old. I was already dealing with asthma and allergies, and around the age of 26, discovered that I suffered from high blood pressure and sleep apnea. I was also obese and struggling with mild depression.
My weight had been at the forefront of my mind for many years. As a child, I was chubby but in the cute way. As a teenager, it was no longer cute. Despite my playing soccer for three years in high school (not well, I won't deny it), and riding horses competitively, I always seemed to be about 20-30 pounds heavier than I should. College came and I stopped playing soccer; my skills were not even close to being on par for a college level team. I continued to ride, but it wasn't enough. Soon I was 40-50 pounds overweight. After my junior year of college, I cut my riding time in half, and joined the student newspaper. I spent more time at a computer than I did outside getting exercise. Our office was located in the campus center, right upstairs from the Cafe. Chef Jeff's famous cookies became a staple in my diet, as did chicken fingers and french fries. By the time I graduated, I wasn't riding at all. By the age of 21, I was closer to being 70 pounds overweight.
College ended and real life began. Commuting to work and a new desk job were exciting and I put all my time and energy into my position. A new position presented itself before my current one ended, so I balanced two jobs for a month. Working long hours, adjusting to a new situation, it was high stress and I opted for fast food over fresh food and rarely exercised.
The understatement of the year was that I didn't take care of myself. I'd go through a week or two here or there of eating right and exercising, but then I'd fall back to my old ways and settle for convenience options. Lazing on the couch was easier than running a mile, so I put my efforts into creating a permanent dent in my cushions instead of improving my health.
At the age of 25, I was about 130 pounds overweight, and I found myself needing emergency surgery. My poor diet and lack of exercise had caught up with me, among other things. A simple ultrasound in the morning turned into surgery within hours. My gallbladder was infected and my organs were on the verge of shutting down. I could have died, within a matter of days. That gave me a good shake, and I spent the next few months eating better and losing about 30 pounds.
Fast forward two years. I gained back those 30 pounds, plus another 10 or 20. One night, I walked out of my office and collapsed to the floor. I quickly picked myself up and looked around to see if anyone noticed. I had no idea why I fell. I didn't trip, I didn't remember being dizzy or woozy. I just fell. Chalk it up to being oblivious, I thought. Until I mentioned it to the school nurse, who promptly took my blood pressure. Through the roof.
The doctor cited that obviously my weight was a factor in my HBP. At this point in my life, I was nearly 150 pounds overweight, and extremely unhealthy. Regardless of this glaring factor in my illness, my doctor wanted to know more about my medical history, as did I.
Saturday, March 10, 2012
The definition of REAL
If you read my blog yesterday, you know that I ended rather vaguely. A conversation with students has uncovered the fact that the other woman at our school who shares my last name of Jagodowski is, in fact, my sister. We have also discovered that we do not look alike because we are not biologically related. We were not adopted from an exotic country, rather right here in Massachusetts. I am older by five years.
The last question I was asked by a student was, "So, she's not your REAL sister?" My response? She is absolutely my REAL sister.
What is real? Merriam Webster offers several definitions, one of which suits my situation perfectly:
I know that not everyone agrees with me on this classification of a real sibling or real parent, but to me, real is about more than common DNA when it comes to family.
In my heart, I always knew that I am where I am supposed to be in life. I am meant to be a part of this family, have Lindsay as my sister and be living the life that I am. I am a firm believer in fate and intentional paths in life, even if we aren't sure where we are headed exactly. That doesn't mean I haven't wondered about this other side to my life, the fact that I was put up for adoption and that somewhere out there are people who I mostly likely resemble physically.
There's no denying that I have always been curious about my background, and in my mid-twenties I embarked on a search for answers about where I came from, who I was biologically related to and, at the same time, get some practical information like a medical history.
What I found in this journey was more than I expected ...
The last question I was asked by a student was, "So, she's not your REAL sister?" My response? She is absolutely my REAL sister.
What is real? Merriam Webster offers several definitions, one of which suits my situation perfectly:
- "not artificial, fraudulent, or illusory : genuine <real gold>; also : being precisely what the name implies <a real professional>"
I know that not everyone agrees with me on this classification of a real sibling or real parent, but to me, real is about more than common DNA when it comes to family.
In my heart, I always knew that I am where I am supposed to be in life. I am meant to be a part of this family, have Lindsay as my sister and be living the life that I am. I am a firm believer in fate and intentional paths in life, even if we aren't sure where we are headed exactly. That doesn't mean I haven't wondered about this other side to my life, the fact that I was put up for adoption and that somewhere out there are people who I mostly likely resemble physically.
There's no denying that I have always been curious about my background, and in my mid-twenties I embarked on a search for answers about where I came from, who I was biologically related to and, at the same time, get some practical information like a medical history.
What I found in this journey was more than I expected ...
Friday, March 9, 2012
What are the chances?
I work in education, and one of the reasons I chose this career path was to be around children. They make me smile every day thanks to their humor, amazement, confusion, surprise and ability to make me feel like a rock star despite having no extraordinary talents that warrant celebrity status.
One thing that has made me "famous" at my school is the fact that my sister also works here. I'm amazed by how many students cannot put two and two together and figure out that we are sisters. We are both single, so still go by our oh-so-common Polish last name of Jagodowski. What are the chances of having two people with the last name of Jagodowski at the same school? Rather slim, so chances are, we're related. There are a select few students who immediately get it and don't need to be told we're sisters. And a few of them think we're twins. But the majority don't realize we are related.
"Wait, you're sisters? Really?"
Once they discover that we are, in fact, sisters, the students start searching for physical similarities. We both have brown hair, that's an easy one. But the similarities seem to end there. We have different color eyes. She is tall and thin, I'm short and ... not thin. She's all legs, I look like a weeble. Our noses are drastically different. Our face shapes are not even close. Our hands are different, so are our smiles. We don't wear the same size clothes or even the same size shoes. We don't even have the same styles in clothing. Beyond the brown hair, there aren't many similarities. Yet, students will search for ways in which we might resemble each other.
After a few minutes of their attempts to find similarities, I'll drop a bomb on them. You're right, we don't look alike. In fact, we aren't supposed to look alike. We're adopted.
"Adopted?" Wide eyes and open mouths usually follow. This is my favorite part, answering the questions about adoption. Inevitability, the first question is if we were adopted together as sisters. No, we are not biologically related. Where were we adopted from? There's typically some disappointment to discover we aren't from an exotic country, and some intrigue by the fact that we each were born within 30 minutes of where we grew up.
"So, who is older?" This one stumps them often. Typically, in a group of six or so students, they are divided fairly evenly on who is older, with a few comments of we have to be close to each other in age if we aren't twins. I'd say that on average, 55% of them guess that my sister is older. One of the reasons, I'm told, is because she wears high heels which children tend to associate with adults. Me? Flat boots, funky colored retro Born kicks and Crocs tend to round out my shoe collection. I'm a comfort over fashion type. I love the wide eyes and, "I knew it!" side comments that come when I finally announce that I'm older. They are even more amazed by the fact that I'm five years older. I guess I'm doing well for my age!
At this point, there is usually one student who asks me, "So, she's not your REAL sister?"
To which I always respond, she is absolutely my real sister ...
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