In December, I stepped up my exercise to a new level. I was back in the gym three days a week, often more. I was doing the C25K program, working up to running 3.12 miles without stopping. I was walking on the beach on the days I wasn't in the gym, strength training and doing yoga. I was a powerhouse.
And I was miserable. I felt weak and tired. At first I chalked it up to general muscle fatigue and figured my body would catch up. A month went by and nothing. I ate more, within my dietary restrictions, adding more protein to my diet. To my dismay, I didn't feel better. Instead, I was worse. My fatigue and weakness were now coupled with headaches and dizziness. I went to the doctor, but all my tests came back normal. Nothing to worry about.
We talked about my diet and while my doctors (I saw my PCP and some specialists) all were concerned about the lack of carbs, but none of them wanted to tell me to stop what I was doing, because it was obviously working. "Talk to your hypnotist and see what she has to say."
Remember, my hypnotist has a background in nutrition, so this wasn't just any entertainment-style hypnotist. She knows her stuff.
So, a few phone calls later, back and forth with the hypnotist and the doctors, and I am officially off my low-carb diet. The diet I was on from the hypnotist was one that causes stress to the body, any weight loss plan does, actually. So when I coupled the weight loss stress from the diet with the above and beyond exercise stress, my body couldn't take it. My hypnotist wasn't surprised that I was having issues.
It has been almost two weeks since I have been off my strict low-carb diet, and I am struggling. This freedom, this not having to worry about "breaking the hypnosis" has made my attitude more casual. I've noticed that my inclinations to over-indulge aren't the same, I can stop after a few bites now. But, I'm still going for those few bites.
So, I have made arrangements to go back to my gym with the personal training for three months while I train for my 5Ks and 60-mile walk. I will go back to the clean eating diet that I was on before I went low-carb, and I will bust my butt at the gym.
Then, once my walk is over, I have run a few more 5K races and am, hopefully, at a place where I can be more in maintenance mode rather than training mode, I can take my exercise intensity down a few notched for the fall and winter, and go back to hypnosis until I am securely at my goal.
The next three months won't be easy ...
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Friday, March 30, 2012
The "look"
When I went for my tune-up in the fall, after stepping off the program for a few weeks, I felt like a little kid who did something she wasn't supposed to do. In my group session, several of us were in the same boat. We had gone astray. Every time, our hypnotist gave us the "look." You know the one, moms are fantastic at giving the "look." Many teachers have mastered the "look." It's that facial expression that says, I'm disappointed in you, you know better, don't make me have to tell you YET again ... don't do it.
I swallowed my pride, accepted my slap on the hand, and vowed to not make the same mistakes again. And I was almost successful. I had one 20-minute moment of weakness in mid-December. Holiday gifts from families at my school got the better of me and I indulged. But, I immediately threw away all the other temptations and got myself back on track, without a tune-up. I stuck with the program and made it through the holidays and into the spring.
I swallowed my pride, accepted my slap on the hand, and vowed to not make the same mistakes again. And I was almost successful. I had one 20-minute moment of weakness in mid-December. Holiday gifts from families at my school got the better of me and I indulged. But, I immediately threw away all the other temptations and got myself back on track, without a tune-up. I stuck with the program and made it through the holidays and into the spring.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Loving and hating change
When I first embarked on my journey towards a healthier life one year ago, almost exactly to the day, I relished the changes that I needed to make in my life, but I also resented them. I had grown accustomed to living a certain lifestyle that was simple, but it was that simple lifestyle that kept me unhealthy, unhappy and on the outside of the world.
At first, my changes were small. I started counting calories, measuring my food. Then, I switched to a clean diet, eating mostly fresh fruits and vegetables, lean proteins and whole grains. I added in protein shakes to go along with a new exercise routine, 30 minutes of strength training and 30 minutes of cardio done three days a week. But I struggled. The weight came off so slowly that I was discouraged and disheartened. At the rate I was going, it would be YEARS before I reached my goal weight. I knew that I could not afford the costs of my personalized gym experience for years; I could barely afford the six-month plan. Needless to say, my credit card was thrilled with my large investment in my health.
Looking at my future, I was scared and frustrated, unsure if I could be successful. In the middle of my doubts in my own abilities, I was also struggling with health issues that were inhibiting my success with exercise. Years of being obese had taken a toll on my knees, not to mention the stress my knees had been under from 20 years of competitive horseback riding and a car accident - I still have scar tissues in my knees from that accident more than six years ago. I was unable to do 75% of the workout offered by my gym, per my doctor's orders. If I couldn't do 75% of the workout, how on earth was I going to get in shape?
That's when I opted for the hypnosis, to change my lifestyle. Starting in June 2011 my eating habits were completely changed, and I went on a low-carb diet, eating mostly fresh meat and vegetables. My exercise habits declined, I will admit that, but I stayed 100% true to my diet and the lifestyle changes my hypnotist required in order for her program to work. I never ate anything that I didn't eat with meat. I always ate more meat than anything else in my meals. I ate certain foods regularly, even though I didn't like them. I didn't weigh myself.
Fast forward to October 2011. I was caught off-guard in a situation where I was lunch-less on a field trip with 30 third graders. My options were raid the vending machine or steal a child's sandwich and eat the meat. I won't lie, I contemplated stealing a sandwich. Instead, I headed to the vending machine and opted for a carb-snack, pretzels. No sugar, I wouldn't allow myself sugar, that's the worst thing I could do while on the hypnosis plan. I felt defeated, but I had no choice. I needed to fuel my body with something before continuing to run after children for the next three hours.
Knowing that I had broken my hypnosis, I made an appointment for a tune-up at the end of the month. Going through the rest of that month was hard, I felt like I couldn't do this on my own, and I found myself straying regularly. First it was a flavored latte, not too bad, but it was sugar. No sugar. Then it was a latte and a scone and a muffin. I'll have pizza today. Beer at the reception. Oh, cookies, haven't had those in a while. A little pasta won't hurt. Why not have some ice cream. Two weeks went by, and my old eating habits had returned. And, I stepped on the scale.
I was happy to see that I was down 56 pounds from my highest weight, but I wasn't as happy as I thought I should have been - I wanted more of a loss. I knew it was my own fault for giving in to temptation.
As much as I wanted change, I also wanted the change to end. I wanted to eat the carbs, enjoy the sugar and not worry about eating meat with everything. But I also knew that doing so would mean a lifetime of being obese. Overindulging regularly was a thing of the past. These changes, love them or hate them, had to be a regular part of my life.
At first, my changes were small. I started counting calories, measuring my food. Then, I switched to a clean diet, eating mostly fresh fruits and vegetables, lean proteins and whole grains. I added in protein shakes to go along with a new exercise routine, 30 minutes of strength training and 30 minutes of cardio done three days a week. But I struggled. The weight came off so slowly that I was discouraged and disheartened. At the rate I was going, it would be YEARS before I reached my goal weight. I knew that I could not afford the costs of my personalized gym experience for years; I could barely afford the six-month plan. Needless to say, my credit card was thrilled with my large investment in my health.
Looking at my future, I was scared and frustrated, unsure if I could be successful. In the middle of my doubts in my own abilities, I was also struggling with health issues that were inhibiting my success with exercise. Years of being obese had taken a toll on my knees, not to mention the stress my knees had been under from 20 years of competitive horseback riding and a car accident - I still have scar tissues in my knees from that accident more than six years ago. I was unable to do 75% of the workout offered by my gym, per my doctor's orders. If I couldn't do 75% of the workout, how on earth was I going to get in shape?
That's when I opted for the hypnosis, to change my lifestyle. Starting in June 2011 my eating habits were completely changed, and I went on a low-carb diet, eating mostly fresh meat and vegetables. My exercise habits declined, I will admit that, but I stayed 100% true to my diet and the lifestyle changes my hypnotist required in order for her program to work. I never ate anything that I didn't eat with meat. I always ate more meat than anything else in my meals. I ate certain foods regularly, even though I didn't like them. I didn't weigh myself.
Fast forward to October 2011. I was caught off-guard in a situation where I was lunch-less on a field trip with 30 third graders. My options were raid the vending machine or steal a child's sandwich and eat the meat. I won't lie, I contemplated stealing a sandwich. Instead, I headed to the vending machine and opted for a carb-snack, pretzels. No sugar, I wouldn't allow myself sugar, that's the worst thing I could do while on the hypnosis plan. I felt defeated, but I had no choice. I needed to fuel my body with something before continuing to run after children for the next three hours.
Knowing that I had broken my hypnosis, I made an appointment for a tune-up at the end of the month. Going through the rest of that month was hard, I felt like I couldn't do this on my own, and I found myself straying regularly. First it was a flavored latte, not too bad, but it was sugar. No sugar. Then it was a latte and a scone and a muffin. I'll have pizza today. Beer at the reception. Oh, cookies, haven't had those in a while. A little pasta won't hurt. Why not have some ice cream. Two weeks went by, and my old eating habits had returned. And, I stepped on the scale.
I was happy to see that I was down 56 pounds from my highest weight, but I wasn't as happy as I thought I should have been - I wanted more of a loss. I knew it was my own fault for giving in to temptation.
As much as I wanted change, I also wanted the change to end. I wanted to eat the carbs, enjoy the sugar and not worry about eating meat with everything. But I also knew that doing so would mean a lifetime of being obese. Overindulging regularly was a thing of the past. These changes, love them or hate them, had to be a regular part of my life.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
The first steps
It's always difficult to take on a new challenge in life. Change is hard, plain and simple. Adopting new roles and routines isn't easy. Trudging forward through the mud and the muck on the way to the finish line isn't pretty and sometimes, it is downright painful and ugly. But we do it in order to seek accomplishment.
When I crossed the finish line of my first 5K, I felt a wave of accomplishment - and a wave of exhaustion. Knowing that I pushed myself to stay strong through those last final steps and only slow once I knew my feet were well beyond the line was something to be proud of for sure. I finished my race in 47:02, crushing my anticipated 55 minute goal. It doesn't matter that I was among the final finishers of the race (I wasn't last though), what matters is that I finished and I did my best. I pushed myself beyond my limits and accomplished more than I thought I could.
Another challenge I have taken on is the Susan G. Komen 3-Day 60 mile walk. It's an incredible thing to know that you can walk 60 miles in three days. Not just anyone can do that. The biggest challenge for me though is fundraising. In order to complete the walk, I must raise $2,300.
Talking to folks about this event has been frustrating. The lack of excitement and encouragement has been astonishing. There are some words of praise for making the commitment, but more often than not I hear negatives, about the walk, about the fundraising and even about the SGK foundation.
There's a part of me that is ready to give up, accept that I may never be able to raise $2,300 by the end of July. The truth is, I may not be able to raise the $2,300 I need in order to walk in the 3-Day. I will try, I will work hard and ask for donations, keep my donor page open until the last minute possible.
But what if I don't make it? I'm still going to walk. Even if I can't walk with the SGK 3-Day group, I'll still walk 60 miles in three days, on my own. While one of my goals is to support a good cause, my primary goal is to accomplish an amazing physical feat, something that a year ago I could have never dreamed of doing.
When I crossed the finish line of my first 5K, I felt a wave of accomplishment - and a wave of exhaustion. Knowing that I pushed myself to stay strong through those last final steps and only slow once I knew my feet were well beyond the line was something to be proud of for sure. I finished my race in 47:02, crushing my anticipated 55 minute goal. It doesn't matter that I was among the final finishers of the race (I wasn't last though), what matters is that I finished and I did my best. I pushed myself beyond my limits and accomplished more than I thought I could.
Another challenge I have taken on is the Susan G. Komen 3-Day 60 mile walk. It's an incredible thing to know that you can walk 60 miles in three days. Not just anyone can do that. The biggest challenge for me though is fundraising. In order to complete the walk, I must raise $2,300.
Talking to folks about this event has been frustrating. The lack of excitement and encouragement has been astonishing. There are some words of praise for making the commitment, but more often than not I hear negatives, about the walk, about the fundraising and even about the SGK foundation.
Why would you want to walk 60 miles?
I would never put myself through that.
That's so far.
That doesn't sound fun.
I could never raise $2,300.
What if you don't raise the money?
I'm so over the Susan Komen foundation.
I'm tired just thinking about it.
Isn't there something else you could do?
There's a part of me that is ready to give up, accept that I may never be able to raise $2,300 by the end of July. The truth is, I may not be able to raise the $2,300 I need in order to walk in the 3-Day. I will try, I will work hard and ask for donations, keep my donor page open until the last minute possible.
But what if I don't make it? I'm still going to walk. Even if I can't walk with the SGK 3-Day group, I'll still walk 60 miles in three days, on my own. While one of my goals is to support a good cause, my primary goal is to accomplish an amazing physical feat, something that a year ago I could have never dreamed of doing.
Monday, March 26, 2012
My first 5K - FINISHED!
You may remember that last week I posted saying I was going to compete in my first 5K on St. Patrick's Day. I'm happy to announce that I not only survived the race, I also beat my anticipated time of 55 minutes to finish. I finished in 47:02, and ... I was not the last one to cross the finish line. I wasn't even the last one in my age group to finish! There were only a few people who finished after me, but I'm so proud of my successful endeavor. I think I'm hooked! My next goal is to finish under 45 minutes ... and not come in last place. Some day, I'll be able to run the entire distance non-stop and have a competitive time stamp. Until then, I'm thrilled with simply being able to finish the race and not come in last place!
Sunday, March 18, 2012
You're getting a waist!
One of the exciting parts of losing a large amount of weight is seeing the physical transformation. One of my best friends comments to me often about the changes she has seen. "You're getting a shape," she'll say. To which my mind immediately replies, Other than round, you mean ... Her favorite comment is, "I'm sorry that your clothes are too big," when she sees me in my baggy pants and tent-like top that used to be fitted. It's a great feeling to pick up a pair of pants that six months ago I couldn't get past my thighs and discover that they fit, or better yet, are loose. Sweatshirts that used to squeeze my chest and not go past my waist now drape over my body in an extremely unattractive way, but I love it. Proof that I've made a change.
The other night, I was helping my sister work on a project. Her desk is situated near the foot of her bed so I tend to sit there while she sits at the desk. In a moment of exasperation, I flung myself backward, arms over my head. My sweatshirt (that was once too small to even pull on) lifted revealing a few inches of skin on my stomach. "You're getting a waist," my sister said in amazement.
I've always had a waist, obviously, but it was hidden. Well, it's starting to make an appearance, and I'm thrilled. Here's to having a waist!
The other night, I was helping my sister work on a project. Her desk is situated near the foot of her bed so I tend to sit there while she sits at the desk. In a moment of exasperation, I flung myself backward, arms over my head. My sweatshirt (that was once too small to even pull on) lifted revealing a few inches of skin on my stomach. "You're getting a waist," my sister said in amazement.
I've always had a waist, obviously, but it was hidden. Well, it's starting to make an appearance, and I'm thrilled. Here's to having a waist!
Saturday, March 17, 2012
The magic of a haircut
I began my lifestyle overhaul (diet and exercise) in March of 2011. I began with eating clean and working out three days a week doing 30 minutes of strength training and 30 minutes of cardio each day. I underwent hypnosis in June 2011, changing my diet to essentially a low-carb diet (more complex than that, but easiest way to describe it). I was working hard to change my lifestyle and live a healthier life, and it was working. By July 2011, I was down about 25 pounds.
That summer, I decided to cut off my hair and donate it to Locks of Love. My hair is rather thick, so the stylist actually divided my hair into four small chunks, each one about 13 inches long. This still left me with hair that fell almost to my chin. Once my hair was styled into a new look, it was even shorter. This wasn't the first time I had my hair this short, so I was used to it.
Since July, I have received so many compliments on my hair. Comments I hear often include, "it really brings out your eyes," and "I never really noticed the shape of your face before," or just a simple, "I cannot get over how much a haircut has changed your appearance."
Well, ladies and gentleman, I appreciate the compliments, but it's not just the work of a haircut. It's the magic of losing somewhere around 100 pounds. Yes, 100 pounds.
I don't actually weigh myself, it's part of my hypnosis program - no scales. While I don't know my exact weight, I have my sister track my weight to make sure I'm moving in the right direction. I get a thumbs up if I'm doing well. Unless she's lying to me, we've never had a need for anything other than a thumbs up, so I'm not sure what she'd do if I wasn't making progress. Based on the weight loss I experienced at the beginning of my journey when I didn't listen to my hypnotist and stepped on a scale, I estimate my weight loss to be somewhere between 90 and 110 pounds, so I'll settle for the nice round number of 100.
Regardless, I've gone from a size 26/28 to a loose size 18. I can even wear XL clothes from the regular section of the store, depending on the style. Not all XL sizes fit, but some do and that's exciting. To drop that many sizes means a significant weight loss, and that's why my face looks dramatically different.
So, my response to the compliments of the haircut are as follows:
"It really brings out your eyes." - This is because my face is thinner and my eyes are no longer hidden by fat cheeks, especially when I smile.
"I never really noticed the shape of your face before." - That's because the shape was round and pudgy. I finally have a chin and cheekbones again!
"I cannot get over how much a haircut has changed your appearance." - It hasn't. My haircut isn't magical. My appearance has changed because I have changed. There is much less of me now than there was a year ago.
That summer, I decided to cut off my hair and donate it to Locks of Love. My hair is rather thick, so the stylist actually divided my hair into four small chunks, each one about 13 inches long. This still left me with hair that fell almost to my chin. Once my hair was styled into a new look, it was even shorter. This wasn't the first time I had my hair this short, so I was used to it.
Since July, I have received so many compliments on my hair. Comments I hear often include, "it really brings out your eyes," and "I never really noticed the shape of your face before," or just a simple, "I cannot get over how much a haircut has changed your appearance."
Well, ladies and gentleman, I appreciate the compliments, but it's not just the work of a haircut. It's the magic of losing somewhere around 100 pounds. Yes, 100 pounds.
I don't actually weigh myself, it's part of my hypnosis program - no scales. While I don't know my exact weight, I have my sister track my weight to make sure I'm moving in the right direction. I get a thumbs up if I'm doing well. Unless she's lying to me, we've never had a need for anything other than a thumbs up, so I'm not sure what she'd do if I wasn't making progress. Based on the weight loss I experienced at the beginning of my journey when I didn't listen to my hypnotist and stepped on a scale, I estimate my weight loss to be somewhere between 90 and 110 pounds, so I'll settle for the nice round number of 100.
Regardless, I've gone from a size 26/28 to a loose size 18. I can even wear XL clothes from the regular section of the store, depending on the style. Not all XL sizes fit, but some do and that's exciting. To drop that many sizes means a significant weight loss, and that's why my face looks dramatically different.
So, my response to the compliments of the haircut are as follows:
"It really brings out your eyes." - This is because my face is thinner and my eyes are no longer hidden by fat cheeks, especially when I smile.
"I never really noticed the shape of your face before." - That's because the shape was round and pudgy. I finally have a chin and cheekbones again!
"I cannot get over how much a haircut has changed your appearance." - It hasn't. My haircut isn't magical. My appearance has changed because I have changed. There is much less of me now than there was a year ago.
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